I'm supposed to be doing, uh, taxes.

But I can't, I have something on my brain.

Can I be specific?

No.

I am in somewhat of a sensitive state of mind, very perceptive and looking for an intervention of some sort to clear my mind.

God is not the God of confusion.

There is a smell taste in the air that has me thinking, and praying, and crying and laughing.

No, I am not pregnant again.

What I am, though, is seeking.

Seek and ye shall find.

Do I have the answer already? Is it very clear, clear as mud.

God is good.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and commeth down, from the father of light.

This really made me mad.

http://www.christian.org.uk/news/20081203/abortionist-life-only-matters-if-its-wanted/

You wanna a piece of me?

Someone was complaining that I was neglecting my blog. I wont mention any names but she (oops) is right I am neglecting this thing.
Top ten reasons why I am not blogging;

1. I am torn about a subject, or two, and cannot articulate a sentience.

2. I am up to my neck in laundry.

3. I am up to my neck in dirty diapers, maybe that's what that smell is.

4. I am striving to keep a picked up and clean house.

5. I cant type without many cups of coffee, or tea, or anything like that.

6. It's the most wonderful time of the year!

7. I cant believe I have to come up with ten!

8. I have to deck the halls.

9. I just realised I did this backwards, therefore proving I am incapable of thinking straight.

and the number one, I mean ten reason I have been neglecting my blog is (drum roll please)

Serously, I am thinking about doing this.

I am really contemplating donating my milk. MY babes have grown well on it, why not share it?
There are a couple of organizations to use, like milk share, who will set you up with a local family in need. Or there is this one, who sends 25 percent of what you donate to Africa, and uses the 75 remaining percent to make a super concentrated fortifier for nicu babies.
I think I could do this, I wonder what my husband is gonna say!

Watch for the "stop hate" sign.

http://www.kpsplocal2.com/global/video/popup/pop_playerLaunch.asp?vt1=v&clipFormat=undefined&clipId1=3115942&at1=News&h1=Prop

Random thoughts.

These are probably not going to be in any specific order, or for that matter, relative to one another.

Feminism, hmmm. Something that's been on my brain for a couple of weeks. We are created to serve different purposes as men and woman. I don't know why that has to be defined, or why it wants to be redefined. We live in such a unisex society that being feminine is hard to come by. Or looked at as old fashioned. Or defined by how sexy your are, which in my opinion is something totally different.

Should people have children in daycare? I read somewhere that it was considered by an author of children's books to be a form of child abuse. Point being said child was there about 50 hours a week, came home and had about 2 hours with family and shooed off to bed. Not being with the parents at all, and along the same line of thinking, being raised by "strangers." Now, I understand, logistically, after a couple of weeks, months or whatever, that the teachers wouldn't be strangers, but what if they quit? Or got fired? Interesting to me the different ways that could go in a conversation!

I want to fire my mail carrier. So unprofessional, and while I am at it, the manager at my local bank. I thought these people were representing our country, in some form or fashion. For some reason I was under the impression that bankers/tellers were supposed to be a sort of political figure. Why do I have that impression? They are both handling federal things, right?

Whatever.

Do I have to be tolerant of other peoples agendas if it offends me?

I have a great big pimple on my chin area that is brewing something massive. It is not quite finished doing whatever pimples are supposed to do, but it is a sore red bump on my face. What a doosie!

So random.

You cant say I didn't warn you!

A little bit of this and that.

Things are good and busy. I have some great projects in mind for the holidays and I am looking forward to seeing family. I have been striving to stay busy in the home, and I have some great help from my new re manufactured Dyson!! (let me add some more exclamations here!!!!!) I got a smoking deal and just love using it.
I want to finish the paint job we started back when I was pregnant with Olivia, so I have about half of the living room taped. I didn't realise I needed to buy more paint, but at least the project is started, right?
I have some pumpkins to puree, and seeds to roast. I have a couple sewing project to work out, and I have visions of jams and jellies dancing in my head. I have been clipping coupons for free and or cheep groceries and I have been reading the bible in regards to the end times prophecies.

My children are growing, and I cant keep up. Plain as that.

Steve is still working crazy hours. I feel like what my neighbor says, "happily married single mother!"
OK, off to bed, or what ever that is!

I KNEW IT!!

You Are 88% Tortured Genius

You totally fit the profile of a tortured genius. You're uniquely brilliant - and completely misunderstood. Not like you really want anyone to understand you anyway. You're pretty happy being an island.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

This too shall pass.

I remember hearing those words, or reading them in some advice article about babies/children. "Remember, this soon will pass.."

Well, maybe I don't want it to.

Maybe I want to cherish the one o'clock fussy babe. Or the one year old wordless babble. Or the four year old energy that is endless. But most of the time, in the moment I don't, and I am sorry for it.

My baby's got blue eyes.

For now at least. They are very clear, and light. I'm sure that will change.

He loves to be bounced. When I was postpartum in the hospital, my mother was holding him and console him as I had no milk yet and tired to boot. She started laughing at his face expression and her whole body started to bounce with the effort. He calmed down and we laughed even more.

He spits up so much more than the other two. No big deal, just not used to it. I think I need to drink more water, I know I need to. Interesting side note, the spit up smells like kefer. =)

I was caught by surprise at him today while changing a diaper, he pees like a champ, all over. I stood amazed for a moment as it went up and over and down, the wall.

The other two children are so patient, they are taking things so well. Pumpkin head is so protective, and the face girl is the first one there when the babe cries. So loving and caring, can you believe its been three weeks?

What is profound?

Nothing in this post! HAHA.

Seriously, I am happy the weather is cooler in the evenings, and I have visions of pumpkins (butter) and seeds. I am hungry for apple spice cake, and a roast in the oven.

I am thinking about going to a pumpkin patch, or a pick your own to have a great family Saturday. I think that they will be already from the field, but the time will get me even more hungry for fall. I just hope that it wont be hot!

The new baby is growing, speaking of changes in the air. He is focusing on many things, and very alert, when he is awake. I am afraid he is not so much a newborn any longer.

I will be glad to wear a sweater during the day and one of my many under used jackets in the evening.

Now, off to bed. Night!

Happy Birthday, pumpkin head.

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Psalm 127:3

Just a quickie...

Well, baby makes five!
We all are doing fine and things couldn't have gone any better. I was very blessed with an eight pound seven ounce baby boy. He was 20 3/4 inches long and has a full head of hair. I could go into the details of the birth but that might be for another time.
We all are doing well, and adjusting. The two other children are happy, O being somewhat upset she is not the baby any more, but happy with her younger brother. I think things will be just fine.
I am anxious to get into the swing of things, like getting back to normal (what ever that is!) and back to taking care of my household again. As far as blogging, I might cut things down to once a week, we will see.
Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers.

One more day.

I have one more day to be pregnant. I have been pregnant since Christmas. I have a scheduled C Sec Friday at 7:30 am and, Lord willing, will have a bouncing baby boy. I have a name picked, finally, and hopefully I will heal well and pass gas quickly.

Ask me some other time about the gas.

Until later, keep me and my family in your prayers.

My unwanted pe(s)ts

This time of year has proven to be tough for me in more than one way. The end of summer, waiting for cooler weather is tough. The dog's hair is coming out in massive amounts. All over my kitchen. Then, there are the crickets.
I have heard the humidity brings them, I wish it would take them. I cant go in my kitchen, with all the hair in it, without thinking I might run into one. They seem to come out at night, and when I say come out, watch out. If you open the door they jump right in. The dogs will take just long enough to allow at least one to hop its way in.
Now you might be thinking something on the lines of gross, and I agree, its gross, but really what am I to do but endure? Pesticides are not safe for the animals or our fish, or children or unborn children for that matter. Besides, I have talked to folks about what they use for control, and they spray. But it doesn't keep the crickets out, just kills them when they get inside. At church they spray, and let me say that has no effect on the population.
Speaking of crickets at church, last Wednesday my MIL went with me to the service. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until she saw something on her shoulder and went to look at it. Well, guess what it was? A CRICKET! THAT JUMPED RIGHT ON ME AND DOWN MY BLOUSE! I yelled and shouted to get the thing off. Just when I relaxed I realised IT WAS STILL THERE, IN MY BRA! Good thing my MIL told me to go to the bathroom, I couldn't think straight. I probably looked like I was going to strip right there!
I know crickets don't bite, or carry any infectious diseases, but try having one down your shirt and see how yucko it is. All in all it was pretty funny.

So I am indeed tired of my crickets and I hope it will only be a little while longer I have to endure these "pets." What cracks me up though, is they sell them at petsmart and the like stores for .30 cents each!! Crazy, come to my house and you can have all you want for free!!

This is me in my "spare" time.

There are quite a few projects in my future, most of which require me to process some YUMMY apples. But I have been smitten with the sewing bug again. I seem to get all dewy eyed and romantic about the possibilities. Excited I don't think is the appropriate word, dreamy or passionate might be better. Picture a little girl jumping up and down clapping her hands while chanting "yes,yes, YES! I LOVE IT!"
I was looking at some other blogs that have tutorials on them and man, I am ready to sew.
I'll let you all in on a little conversation that I have with myself. It goes something like this;
"Wow! Look at that! I could TOTALLY whip that out." (Reality check number one. Hello? Leah?)
Moving on to the next project, "Whoa! That is so great! I wonder S would mind if I bought that much fabric?" (Reality check, What are you thinking?) "Man, those are great colors! S wouldn't mind if I gutted the closet for my sewing area" (Sewing area? Are we buying a new house?) "Naw, he would let me just have the garage." (What?) "Shoot, he would even put AC in there for me." (Now I am rolling on the floor with laughter. Give up the garage?)

All these thoughts as I am seemingly high on cookies and homemade tomato sauce, and the fact it is WAY past my bed time!

What is love?

When I was a teen I really like this music group called Dee lite. They were funky and fresh, for the time, and had some get you going type beat. One of the songs were titled "What is love?" It was mostly music and electronic but It sticks in my head when I ask, What is love.
I can hear a chorus of answers, there are many things that express love. But true love, from our creator, who is defined as love gives us guidelines to which I find sometimes difficult to see through.
As a mother and a wife, I am striving to make my environment more loving toward my family, and why not? Who doesn't deserve this in their home? The home that is our safe haven, our resting place (chores aside!) Our homes should be a shelter, and a place to recharge and relax. Why not fill it with love also?

Love is patient--even when you feel like forcefully expressing yourself.
Love is kind--even when others are not nice to you and you really want to retaliate.
Love is not jealous--especially when hubby comes home too tired to listen after giving all of his energy and time to work and you feel you are going unnoticed.
Love does not brag--even when you want to tell the world about your accomplishments.
Love is not arrogant--but is instead humble, assuming others to be right when they correct us.
Love does not act unbecoming--even when being rude and overbearing would allow you to get your way.
Love does not seek her own--even when it is profitable for you to do so.
Love is not easily provoked--even when you’ve been changing dirty diapers all day and your husband comes home irritated from a long day at work.
Love does not take into account wrong suffered--even when it seems every one is against you or you are openly attacked.
Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness--even when it seems that the other person deserved the ill treatment.
Love rejoices in the truth--even when it seems easier and more beneficial to lie or mislead.
Love bears all things--even when disappointments seem overwhelming.
Love believes all things--even when you’ve been hurt and don’t feel like trusting anyone.
Love hopes all things--even though your visions have been dimmed by years of disappointments.
Love endures all things--especially when you think you can’t endure the people or the circumstances in your life anymore.
Love never fails--even when you feel overwhelmed and your situation seems hopeless.
Love will not crumble when placed in stressful or difficult situations, but instead, remains selflessly faithful, even to the point of death.

These things were from ANGELA DECOTEAU, I found them to nail it on the head for me. I hope it will encourage you to express more love for your family also.

It's August, do you know when summer will end?

I am so ready for cooler weather. I do not like this heat anymore. I think cooler weather, at least in the mornings and evenings, will not be until OCTOBER 31! I would love a milder climate with some other patterns of weather besides burn your face off when you go outside.
I don't think anyone can remember or imagine exactly what it feels like. Just do the following. Turn your oven on to say 500 degrees. Let that bad boy warm up and when it gets to that temperature, stick your head in it for a second. Chances are you wont even be able to get close to it. This is how hot it is here. Just imagine that all over your body. Try to get in your car after its been roasting in the heat?

Once, my neighbor dropped a gallon of milk, by accident, in the heat of the day, on her driveway. Which was not at the moment in the direct sun. It curdled immediately. Instantly. At once. She was so grossed out, as I would be too. Not to mention she didn't have anymore milk. Its that yucky hot here.

I am looking forward to opening my windows, and letting the fresh air in.

*disclaimer; if you really stick your head in the oven that's your fault. Who would be dumb enough to tell you to do such a thing anyway?

This blog is amazing to me.

This woman is so amazing to me that she had the eye to behold all the beauty around her and capture it as she does on film.
I stumbled across her last night through a link from a link from...you get the picture. Take some time and look at her things she posts. You can feel the peace. So amazing to me, as I don't seem to be calm about anything lately.
Enjoy!

Belly dancer.

This is not my belly, per say, I dont have the guts, but it is an acurate discription of what happens often.

It seems that lately I cannot focus on anything but the upcoming birth of my next babe. I feel like one of those mothers that talks nothing of regular things and only about her children. I really don't want to be this was, so I force myself to talk of other subjects. Not being fake mind you, but just not all there. I caught a cold the other day, from some unknown source, and my poor body being tired from growing a babe is now extremely tired trying to keep me healthy. My house is a wreck, I am behind on laundry and I have no appetite. Hopefully I can get somethings done that need to be done, and rest at the same time.

I didn't mean for this post to be a negative Nancy, but I really cant focus on anything else.

I found a video I would like to share, so I will get on that.

Some more random things. Maybe TMI.

I love to drink tea, iced and sweetened with good ole white sugar. I could drink about a gallon a day. I think I would if I were not pregnant. The only drawback is that it acts like coffee in the morning. I have to go soon after I have that first glass.

Driving is one of my favorite things to do. Well, depending on the car. I love to drive my Jetta. I enjoy driving Steve's truck, but its not that great. I think any car or truck is better with a five speed tranny.

I still love anything with chocolate and peanut butter.

I would love to live in either Austin TX or somewhere on the east coast.

That being said, I do not like living in the "desert southwest." I am ever thankful for my house and the fact that we have one, but it's really not in my top ten places to live.

I cannot cook very well. If I don't have a recipe the meal is doomed from the beginning. Sometimes I cant even follow that very well. I am shocked that I can make bread consistently. I hear that everyone has that "dish" that is their specialty. The one they fall back on when they don't know what to make, or they know it will be good. I don't have one. I am that bad. Please feel bad for my family.

In about five weeks and I will have three children. I think the magnitude of that statement really hasn't sunk in yet. Ask me again in 5 weeks.

2nd Timothy, Chapter 3, verse 1 through seven

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Wishing this was impressive.

But it's not.

Nothing new is going on around here, I don't even have any funny stories about anything.

I am still searching for a name, one that "sings" as I put it the other night. Whatever.

We have not decided to circumcise the boy or not. This is heavy on my mind.

On the 30th we decide a birthday, but it seems odd, as I have an ultrasound later that afternoon. Something about my fundal height being larger that what it supposed to be. I have big babies, don't we all know this by now?

Vaccinations are in the back of my head, as is the fact half of our family got dropped off the state insurance. I guess we are not a broke as my wallet says we are. That reminds me, I need to call them.

Until later.

Sesame Street Pinball

This brings back some serious memories.

A funk phenomenon

I am in a funk. My mood is swinging and I am tired and hungry for some Chinese food. Good Chinese food, like the kind you get in San Diego in the Asian part of town. The kind that you are not sure exactly what you are eating because the menu is in Cantonese or Japanese, and you are trusting the waitress to bring you something good that doesn't cost over ten dollars. I want the kind of waitress that doesn't even exactly know what you are saying and nods her head just a little too hard to reassure you, dear round eye, that it will indeed be what you want.
In a funk.

A mood for the morning.

I found what I was looking for.

I found it! I want to make these and I don't think it will take to long to complete. What a great idea, huh? I just hope that it works well for us.
Also, I found that there is a place to get what are called "seconds" from a cloth diaper resource. As quoted from another website!

http://www.prodiaper.net"- This is a company that makes diapers and covers
for diaper service companies. You can order at retail on their website. However,
this is my personal favorite place to shop for covers and prefolds because you
can get seconds for a wonderful price. To order seconds, call (360) 699-5403 (in
Washington State) or (800) 397-8594. You can ask for Prorap diaper cover seconds
and for diaper seconds. You will want to c hose 4x6x4 or 4x8x4. I prefer the
4x8x4. These are about $17 per dozen and then shipping is by weight. This is the
best price I've seen. I've been using these diapers for about a year now. I only
have one dozen diapers so I wash them every other day. After a year of use they
still look new!
A word about seconds- supposedly the diaper covers have
slight flaws but I've never been able to find them. The diaper seconds are
actually first quality. The company gets the diapers in huge bales. If a bale
opens and the diapers spill out, those diapers are sold as seconds. There's
nothing at all wrong with them.

Is this just nuts?!

Anyway, the seconds are about half the price and there are no reports that they are not as effective at keeping things in place. Whew! I hope I can get the OK to order some. (Insert plug for Leah's diaper fund! =)

All this nesting is driving me nuts. I really don't need a thing, or do I?

Leah says the darnest things.

No this is not going to be in the third person again, but I said something to someone that I cant believe I said. I was so dumb and I called back to apologise, but I think it will haunt me for the rest of my life. A great lesson learned.

I have not found a name yet, nor am I trying. I have given up and will call him something original like, son. Right.

I did, however, score some wool in the form of a sweaters that I am hoping to turn into diaper covers. I need to find the tutorial about it. I have seen it, I just cant remember where. Of course I was not smart enough to put it in my faves.

Oh, and let me tell you. My love affair with bacon is back.

More adventures in cooking!

I made some pita bread this morning, and it was so yummy I went for it again this evening. I took some pics with my phone, but they turned out bad. You cant tell a thing. So I ditched the photo ops and I will bore you now with the gory details.
First off, I had no olive oil. Shame on me, I know, but I used walnut oil instead. Turned out alright, I must say. It was sort of sweet, in a way. Next, I wanted a toastier finish. I recommend the oven to be set at 450 degrees as 400 stated in the original recipe is not hot enough for me and my taste buds. I think next time I will try the broiler.
They make such a nice pocket when cooled. Enough said.
Do I have some stuffed in my face right now? You bet!
I also recommend doing this in some sort of cooler morning or evening hour, as the oven door is opened and closed many times in the process.
So there it is, my pita bread, via, the Fresh loaf.
Now, how do I get honey and peanut butter off the keyboard?

Still searching for the right one.

Meanwhile back at her house, Leah is still on the hunt for a good name for a boy. She keeps looking and all the names she encounters are Irish meaning little fire. This is unintentional as the mouse is sort of hovering over random names. None the less, little fire is scaring her. Is this babe destined to be a "little fire?" Hope prevails in her mind, surely it cant be. All the rib kicking and acid reflux is just coincidence, right? Leah is convinced this all is in her head, and looking at her empty cup of coffee, wonders if its all a caffeine driven fantasy to begin with.

Tony Perkins Asks Barack Obama: When Does Life Begin?

Getting a bit political is not my style, but it does raise a great question.

I know, I KNOW!!

So, I need to rant. About myself. About the stuff I have in piles in various closets.
Anyone want some misc. baby things that don't really mean anything to me other than space? Johnny jump up anyone? How about a couple of pacifiers, which have never been used. Oh, I know what you need!! A basket, with kitty toys in it! Never mind I have enough kid toys around, but lets add some cat toys!!

Can you see the manic look in my eyes?

Trains, train magazines, and such. A 35mil. camera. Computer stuff and a whole box of tangled wires. Files from when I was 18, a trash bag with un played with toys. From Christmas. An under cabinet light. Sewing material, sewing machine and a slipcover for our couch that has a great un fixable rip. Lets save that! For...just in case. Of what?

OK, I'm done. I need to get back to shoving it back in the closet.

Some random things.

I always forget just how greasy a turkey can be.

I don't like to dust, but I don't mind cleaning my bathroom.

I still yell way too much.

I love peanut butter and chocolate anything.

I am not good at setting things up, I can keep things in their place, just don't ask me to organise it.

I would not eat so much meat if I could help it. I just think it tastes so good!

I can read read a good book in a day, if you give me the chance.

I am a very bad speller who's bad at math.

Taking it easy.

I will be trying to stay away from the computer to get some other chores around the house done this week. I don't want to be overwhelmed when the end of the week comes. I got sick the last time I went crazy cleaning, and I don't really want to do that again.
So needless to say the posts will be few and far between, not that they are close together in the first place. Please pray that I will have patience and be a quiet spirit. Those two things tend to go out the window at the first signs of stress.

Until then, see ya!

A conclusion to the holiday weekend.

I had grand plans for this weekend. I was going to go to see my folks, and Steve's mom. I was going to be swimming and eating, and probably shopping. I had great expectations.
We didnt go anywhere, really, and swimming? I blew up a pool for the kids in the back yard, which by the way, filled up with dirt a couple hours later as a storm blew in. Shopping, well, I bought a couple of overpriced groceries...does that count?
I didn't do ANYTHING I had planned.

A couple of years ago I would have be sulking, and a baby and quite frankly a jerk about the whole thing. But I as of now, I realise that there were things that needed to happen here, things that helped me grow in other ways. There were things that happened that made me joke about making some sort of scrap book because of all the things that "went wrong." Honestly I can say I wouldn't of had my holiday go any different.

A couple of things that stick out in my head are these; My dog got this sore on his face and we were not sure what it was, and, it kept getting bigger and uglier. His arthritis flared and we thought it was over for him. Infection running ramped in his blood, etc, etc. Turns, after a walk in visit to the vet, hes fine. He has a hot spot. Another thing, which was really no biggie, but Olivia bit her lip so badly I was worried about a trip to the er. Poor thing was gushing blood everywhere. It ended up OK, but in the heat of the moment, boy, I was worried. There were no fireworks because it was too windy. The price of groceries were inflated. I didn't need a whole lot of things, but lets say I got upset about the price of a couple potatoes. A couple of other things were not bad or disastrous, but it made for exciting situations.

I didn't do half of what I wanted to, and my house is a disaster. But I wouldn't have things any other way.

I am not quite awake, yet.

I am very groggy today. It shouldn't be from lack of sleep, I got like eight hours. I hope today will be nice.
As I celebrate our Independence today I cant help think of the freedom we have in the Lord.

We are truly free in Him, wither we are a believer or not. We are free to choose to follow Him or not. To obey His commandments or to go other ways. The Bible says in John 14 verse 15 "If ye love me, keep my commandments." As a christian, I love Him and WANT to keep them. I am not always successful, but I am given a choice. Just as a man and woman who love each other want to please and make the other happy, and do things because they love one another. Now, please. The love of the Lord for us is far more, and much more complex than a man and a woman, but that is the easiest way for me think about it. We have freedom in this. He wants us to choose to serve Him.

I have a subscription to netflix and I get those Bible movies that are the adventures of the old testament. I have the story of Moses right now. I am not too happy with all of the film, as somethings are not biblical, but to add drama, but there is enough for me to enjoy the bible being acted out. Something that I cant shake, which I don't mind holding on to, is the fact that the Israelites kept acting like slaves. They didn't know any better. They complained and moaned, and did not trust God. The Lord wanted to teach them that they were indeed free from Egypt and could trust Him to take care of them, instead of Pharaoh. They couldn't understand the concept that they were free to choose the Lord. They made a false idol and worshiped it while Moses was receiving the ten commandments. They complained there was nothing to eat but manna. God provided food daily! They were guided by a pillar of cloud by day, and a pillar of fire by night. Their feet never swelled, and their shoes never wore out. They were led through the sea, and STILL had no faith in the Lord to take care of them. They wanted to murder Moses on many occasions.

I think to myself, what was wrong with these people. They had PROOF! Proof of the Lords work. PHYSICAL TOUCHABLE PROOF!! They still didn't believe. They didn't accept the freedom the Lord offered. Of course there were exceptions, like Joshua and a couple others, but mostly they were moaning and complaining.

I would like to think I am not like them, but human nature is what it is, and I am like the Israelites. I moan and complain about things and am not grateful. I have proof the Lord is real and working, and I still am ungrateful. I am ashamed before you, dear reader, that I am so like the Israelites.

But the Lord is merciful, and I know I can go to Him. He has provided a way for my freedom, through Jesus. I have the power of prayer and the Bible says that "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2ND Chronicles 7:14. My sin is forgiven. I am truly free. I will hear from heaven. Some versions even say I will give you heaven.

My friend, turn from your wicked ways, and seek His face. He has promised to forgive and to save us. The bible says not one of us will get to God through anyone but Jesus. "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me" John 14:6 Not by any other way. We are to have faith and be obedient to the Lord. We are commanded to in the Old Testament and provided a way in the new. The bible says those who don't are going to be turned aside. Jesus says "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven." Matthew 7:21. His grace is sufficient for all. He paid our price of sin and took the punishment. We need to accept, and have faith, and turn from our sin. Follow Jesus, and truly we will be free.

Evolution - A Cartoon Presentation

My recent trip to bread land. Wait, when did I come back?!

I am getting into bread so much I cant stand it. I could chew on a slice right now, I just don't have any! It is late, so I am vacillating between starting a starter for tomorrow, or just going with the ol' stand by. I found a great couple of loaves in my Joy of Cooking that my dear mother gave me for Christmas a couple years back. It makes such a great sandwich bread. Then there is the four loaves whipped out in two hours that I could, well, whip out. Then there is the focaccia that is great for gnawing on. I want to venture into making "sponges" that sit overnight. I also want the bread to be practical, as my main reason to use it is for toast, Pb and J's and the occasional slather with garlic butter to go with pasta.

Ah, who cares? Wanna come over for some bread and sop? Oil and vinegar? Butter anyone? Oh, how about some lovely homegrown tomatoes and basil? You bring the mozzarella.

Anyone have a great recipe that I could try?

Ezek 4:9 "Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, and millet, and fitches, and put them in one vessel, and make thee bread thereof...

The day is great, so far!

I know things are what you make them, and today is going great. Steve was home last night, and I could sleep worry free. There is something about having a man in the house that makes everything alright. I think I might have dreamt that the doorbell rang, I bolted out of bed, heart pounding, and exclaimed "I think the doorbell just rang! " Steve was so good about the whole thing. He said something about the dogs barking, and I told him Ziggy doesn't hear so well anymore. The man got up and proceeded to check if indeed the doorbell rang. It felt so good not to have to check it myself, I was so frightened. It ended up being a dream after all, because no one was there, but I was so grateful that He was there to check the things that go bump in the night.

This morning I got to sleep in. Olivia decided as soon as the sun is up its her time to shine. I got to keep her in the bed until at least 6, but that was it. Steve again saved the day by telling me to put my head back down (in the fashion of telling the kids the same way when its time to sleep) and HE got up and took care of Olivia and even took her while he took a shower! I got her after smelling so clean and yummy. She was wrapped up all snug in a towel and nursed herself back to sleep! Steve kissed me good bye and Ian came in shortly thereafter and we all cuddled until nine!!!! NINE O CLOCK!!!

I felt so good that I made homemade pancakes, brave huh? They turned out so yummy. The kids got a treat also, I gave them some peach nectar that I got from the dollar store and they both were chatty Kathy's, until I served them the pancakes. It was so cute they both were so busy shoveling food in their face it was quiet for a couple minutes! The recipe I used was alright, but something interesting happened (it always does) that the brown sugar I used didn't melt into the batter, but when it cooked left pockets of brown sugar goodness. So, worth another go at the recipe. Next time I think I will double it.

So, I know all of you are waiting for the granola bar report. They turned out so yummy, but, the wax paper STUCK TO THEM! I pealed and pealed yesterday to get most of it off. This recipe is so worth another try. I just need to figure out how to make it with out the paper. I want to make another batch of bread, some poohs bread, or something like that, but I need more flour. I should go to Costco to get a serous bag of flour.

I am going to try this, this morning.

I wish I had a camera to post my pics, but I will definitely let you all know how it went!

http://www.joyfulabode.com/2008/04/11/homemade-granola-bar-recipe-no-high-fructose-corn-syrup-in-these-bars/

The Good-O-Meter

I thought this vid was really well done. Enjoy.

Im back in the saddle again!

I'm back, but I seem to lack the energy of actually forming a coherent thought. I think there might even be steam escaping from my ears from all the effort. I am tired and worn out, and it's not even noon yet.

I think I am going to have to run errands when Steve gets home and I am NOT looking forward to it.



There was a fire this morning, about twenty minuets away, but the smoke smell was so awful when I went outside this morning that I thought the fire was in the neighborhood. I was sort of concerned and had flashbacks of being in San Diego, for BOTH of those big fires. I don't think that the fire will get out here, but it stunk so bad none the less.



I think I will post some videos to express myself instead of trying to explain the swirly thoughts that are mine lately.

Untill then...........

So mad at myself right now!!

I was re-reading some of my past post, to, well, read to see if I was a blundering idiot. Turns out I am and, illiterate at that. You would think I would use the blasted spell check. I KNOW I am not a great speller, and my typing is as good as a third graders. But, HELLO??? LEAH??? Push the little ABC button please.


For all who don't care, thanks. For those who do, ie, my father and the occasional English major, please forgive me and feel free to assist in some editing. I got A's in college English, really!

The start of my day.

I am not a morning person naturally. I don't think I have ever been. My mother told me when I was a babe, I would stay up all night. Not crying or fussing, just content to sit happily, awake at night. She said that she even would go to bed and leave me awake in my crib, not crying, just awake, playing or what not. Maybe I wasn't a morning person then either, but I am definitely not one now.

I would love to get up early and start the day with the sun, while it is cool outside and the heat is not unbearable. Ideally, that's the way people should live in the desert, to "beat the heat." I just cant do it. Even if buy some fluke chance I get up before 7 I cant function and sit around thinking "man, it's early" and get nothing done. So inevitably I end up doing outside chores while its warm (ha ha warm?) and think poorly of myself that I cant get it done sooner.

That being said, at a quarter to eight, I should post and get outside to water my garden. Well, after I finish my coffee!


Did I mention I procrastinate too?

I came accross this gem in an e mail.

I got an email from a friend and it was about a third grade boy who had an accident in school and had prayed for something to happen that would cover it. It ended all was well and will a sort of moral lesson, but what the gem to me was this;

"Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car."

I actually laughed out loud at that one. I thought that was such a good analogy.

I am sort of recuperating from the weekend so I will figure out something to post later. Meanwhile I am on a quest for a name, that starts with a vowel. That doesn't sound silly when one is not pregnant.

=)

Would you use your mothers name as a curse word?

Most people wouldn't. I wouldn't. But there are a lot of the population the would use there creators name as such, and that my friend is blasphemy. I am talking about the third of the ten commandments. Thou shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. Such is so common some don't even think its a big deal, I used to say it all the time, with out any regard to what I was saying. It wasn't a big deal, then. Even people who claim not to believe in the God say it, which to me is so confusing. Some claim to be agnostic, or even atheist, but still acknowledge in an exclamation " oh MY.... You deny Him, but use his NAME as a possessive statement? But that is for some other time, some other post.

To be honest, I cringe, and am offended when I hear it, any form of it. I am so sensitive I will not watch any movie with it in. Hence the Hollywood and God banner in the side bar. That website is great to tell of the new movies, and what is in them, so they can be avoided. But what about the old eighties flicks I so love? There is nothing I have found that will warn me of the content. I have wasted many of dollars on movies that I unknowingly bought and had to toss.
Toss, I can hear my friend say, recycle. I have and I only can do so much with all the stuff I have. Quite frankly I don't even want any of it any more. In any shape or form.

So that takes us to the next paragraph. Do you take the Lord's name in vain? I am not claiming to be a holy roller, or better than anyone else. I just love God. He is so precious to me. Does He not deserve to be honored by keeping His commandments? Just as our mothers gave us life God created us, if we wouldn't use our mothers name as such why would we use God's?

I have such a forgetfull brain.

I had a great post, in my head, in my sleep last night. As I settle down to write I cannot for any amount of money remember what I am going to write about. (insert rolling of eyes=)
I had to step away for a moment to help my son with his strawberries and I had to tell him numerous times to bring me his bowl. I want him to obey the first time I tell him something and I want him to obey with the right attitude. I can hear you now, dear reader, it's just a bowl of strawberries. Right? I say exactly. So insignificant that it shouldn't be an issue. If he learns on the little things the big ones, whatever you deem a big one, will be automatic. Miss Olivia is learning this also. She says no to everything, whether she means yes or not. I want to teach them they need to come the first time. I will admit, I am not very consistent, and I am praying for help with that. Mostly when I am on the phone, or cooking. I know Ian knows when I am otherwise engaged to act up. Olivia just follows suit.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Just some thoughts.

I have been thinking about changing the "tone" of this blog to something other than whats going on in my day, and the life of my family. I think I still will post about that, but there are other things I want to do with this and am unsure of how to start. I would like to think I can change and accept it easy, but I know I am fooling myself. I started this to help other people know what was going on with my life and I still want to do that. But I feel the need to do more, so I will.
So, on with all the caffeine driven posting and hang in there. If I can type it you can read it!!

It's the day!!!

As my son would say as waking up in the morning, Mommy, it's the day! So excited to meet the new day.

So, yes its the day. My life and that of Steve seems to be turned around, as his poor body is adjusting to graveyard. (Why do they call it that?) He sleeps in the day, and I seem to be up all night, as I cant seem to sleep. Funny thing is I am having a hard time sleeping, when I do, in my own bed. I find myself on the couch or on the spare bed. Go figure. Anyway, I have been trying to fill our days with quiet activity. Today, Steve is sleeping in our bed, as apposed to the spare bed, which he s="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">outfittted to be dark. He hung blankets over the window and put my cutting mat up. The darkness gives this room an other world feeling. Nothing like "Lord of the Rings" or anything like that, but just a very diffrent feeling. Plus, its a mess. I shake my head as I say that, like, oh well. I soon will organise and clean. Maybe Saturday. Maybe not.
 >>

I am making beans and bacon (there it is again) for todays meals. I am excited to have some. I have only been boinling them for half an hour now and the smell is just knocking me out. I love it.

The ultrasound went very well yesterday. We are going to have another boy. I am going to enjoy picking out a name and figuring out what to do with all the stuff we are going to get out of storage. I am having problems loading pictures so I will post the ones I got later, maybe.

For the reat of the day I will be trying to stay motavated, folod the laundry, and pick the living room and kitchen floor up. I hope Steve dosnt mind if I vaccume....

Where have you been?

In an effort to try to stay current in the blog, I am failing miserably. I have been trying to stay off the computer, and have succeeded because of some technical stuff, but I am really still wanting to post. Really!





Lots have been going on, none really of great merit. Steve found a job, and we are on our way back to our feet. The electricity is still on and we have running water....What more could a gal want?





My camera is broken, so all of the grand ideas of posting a project are out the window. I have a 35 mil. my father gave me when I was in high school, but it doesn't have a flash. I would have to pay for the pictures to be put on a disk, blah blah, blah.





Steve and I had out 7Th year anniversary yesterday. Take that for what it is. Steve said it felt like we had been married for 20. Take THAT for what it is....





I find out the sex of my unborn child tomorrow. Lets pray that the bionic rays of the ultrasound don't give it some sort of mental issue. That was a joke. Not that I WANT my child to have some sort of mental issue. Considering it will be a child of mine, bad bad joke.





I am really not in the mood for this. I want to eat some cookies and bacon. Not at the same time and not really in that order.

On a side note......

Being poor is so much more bearable when the food is good.


Or is it that way with everything?

Here I am!

Things couldn't be any busier. Wait, I think they could! Anyway, I am recuperating from some trying weeks.
It all started when we had those lovely children to stay with us. I mean lovely in every sense of it. They were obedient and a joy to have. There were three of them ranging from eleven months to a nine year old. I took pictures with every intention of posting, but since I don't have permission form the parents I wont. Lets just say they are such beautiful children and it was so quiet when they were gone. I made the nine year old a skirt, the first one I ever made, (thanks Julie for the elastic) and she gushed over it every chance she got. I sort of choked up when she appeared ready for the day, with it on. I hope to hear from them soon.
Taxes came and went, we are broke, I knew this. End of it.
Since we had done our taxes and figured out just how poor we are, I applied for state insurance. Oh, I hear your exclamations of glee! How fun for me? NO!!! I couldn't possibly go into all the shenanigans of the process. If you would like to know, give me a call.
Mean while, I had an official pregnancy test at my "local" obgyn's office and was nervous about the results. Why? Who knows? I know I am with child and I have felt movement, but I was thinking what am I going to say to these people if it comes out negative? "Wait, let me pee again!!!" I think the anxiety came from the results needing to be turned in to the state for "proof of Pregnancy." If it came back negative I was going to cry. It didn't and they are saying I am further along than I thought. Based on the typical first day of last cycle. I will have a talk with them when I go back Monday.

My mother in law came to visit, bringing pie. That was a nice visit. The Saturday she was due to leave MY mother called and said she was coming the next day. My mother NEVER comes to visit. I was overwhelmed. A couple hours later and DH's truck broke down. (insert the dollar sound, cha ching) Diesel fuel spraying everywhere, almost catching on fire. So here we are, with no vehicle. Thankfully my mil was able to stay until Sunday, hiding out until my folks left, so we could have a vehicle to use. Some church folk were able to loan us there truck so DH could work Monday morning. Besides out truck was due to be fixed Monday afternoon.
Monday morning? Well, lets just say 6 am DH woke up with a pain like someone kicked him in the gut. Hurry take the kids to pastors house, and rush to the ER.
THE EMERGENCY ROOM!!!!
I cant explain in full detail the whole experience now, but lets just say it puts another kink in the I'm broke chain. By the way, he had a kidney stone and is just fine now.
Later that evening Olivia fell off here rocking horse and I thought we would have to go back from all the bleeding from here lip. Poor thing.

On top of all this, we are sick with colds, fever and achy bodies.

Maybe I should go take a bath, maybe after the laundries done.

I have many things to post! ! !

Yes, I do. But now is not the time.
I have been taking care of some children for a friend and have a couple pictures I am thinking about posting. Along with all the adventures that in sued.
I have been looking for some cool things to put in the side bar, but I haven't come across any that are not childish or appropriate. On a side note, sometimes that pregnancy countdown has the umbilical chord looking weird.
Until I get another chance to type....

This girl of mine!

She is climbing on a chair only to literally STEP OFF and FALL!! It is cracking me up!
She is getting hurt, but it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal. Hmm, now she has the hiccups. I wonder if it hast to do with falling off a chair a half dozen times!

Doobie Doobie doo.....

For a lack of better title to this mornings post I have nothing to title this. I have been deep in thought, er, contemplation, about things that are seemingly beyond my control. Like the weather, getting hotter. Or the pigeon cooing and annoying me outside my window. Or maybe the fact that I cant push a baby out my baby hole? Wait! Did I just type that?

I did. Some part of me is angry, so angry for all the injustice done to my person. Part of me is thankful that I heal quickly after, and with little to no complications. Thank God I have a healthy babe, right?
"the ends don't justify the means" keeps running through my head.
Whatever. I don't have the tears left to cry and I don't have the emotional strength to think anything else about it.

Now for something completely different!

I am ready to stock pile some food. I would like to buy a cow, or a quarter, or even a half. I would like to obtain a somewhat large freezer and stick the cow in it. I would LOVE TO MAKE SOME JAM!!!!! I would love to get a hold of some flour, I mean some great amount and put it in some ridiculous bucket and dip into when I need to make something like tortillas or bread, or maybe even some crackers. I am so hungry that I could go on and on.
This is nuts.

Oh, and one more thing, if any of you out there need someone to blame for anything, you can totally blame me for it. Really, missing a sock? its my fault. Cant find your keys? I took em. You have gas? Yup you guessed it. ALL MINE!!!

All out of control......

Not by the hair of my chin?

I have hair on my chin!

There, I said it.

I don't just have a hair, I have hairs. Plural. MANY!!! I cant seem to keep them plucked, and that nair type cream? Forget about it! I cant stomach the smell. I have thought about waxing (riiiipppp) but the times that I have tryed to I still have hair left and all the pain?
Serously, it is so bad that I am afraid of direct sunlight. I have long blonde ones and short black ones. I have them on my chin and on my neck. Sometimes, I can even STROKE THEM!!

I have a feeling this is not going to end soon, I think my horemones are to blame. Yeah thats it, horemones.

Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)

Whoa. LOL!!

The relationship is over.

Myspace and I have officially broke up. It took me twice, a request to cancel two times, before I couldn't log in anymore. 48 hours I think was "two business days." It kinda made me upset that I couldn't just push cancel and be done with it. It was a process. I wasn't sure if I was actually canceled or not. If I wasn't today I was going to email Tom and threaten to sue! CANCEL THAT DARN THING!! Right...


This has probably been the easiest breakup of my life!!

I think I could use some more sleep.

I am so beat this morning, and I really don't want to start my day yet. Bleh.

As far as myspace goes, they had me confirm on an email, and then they said it would take up to 48 hours!! I don't think anyone took me seriously that I was going to delete it.
Bleh.

Shhhhh!!!!! Before everyone wakes up!!!

I have some coffee, not too much, and a couple moments of a quiet morning to say a couple things.

I am going to delete myspace account tomorrow. Why not today? Because I want everyone to get a chance to see the info I left regarding my "forwarding " address and I think Saturday is a more likely day for those to log on. Ah, I will be free.
I probably should make this thing more interesting, maybe I'll document something. A time lapse on some plant. Maybe I wont!!!!


Maybe I'll get my house clean.....

Yeah....

There are SO many things in my head right now that I am not sure I will keep them straight. I will definitely try to keep on track with a certain topic, but no promises.
I am first thinking about the truth. I mean THE TRUTH. I recently read a blog by a fellow peer that was very thought provoking, but I thought they should have taken it a step further to find out what really is going on. This leads me to think, hmm where are we finding our information? What are we basing the truth on, opinions emotions? What is trust worthy? There is only ONE truth, right?


Radiohead is rocking my world!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWwVR5S-mMg


While it is raining outside, I think it would be a great day to sew. But I need to get some other things off my chest.

I am pregnant with my third child. I am so grateful to God that He has decided to bless our family with another. The bible says children are a reward of the womb and heritage of the Lord.


Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward.

Psa 127:4
As arrows [are] in the hand of a mighty man; so [are] children of the youth.

Psa 127:5
Happy [is] the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

It seems to me that I am being rewarded and blessed, and I cant express how happy I am about that.

Parker was a sucsess

Note; I started this a month ago and "lost" it and didn't know where to find it. I found it and now will try to finish..



Yes, I said it. It was fun, exciting and smokey.

We got there and proceeded to mark our territory in the usual fashion, set up a couple of camp chairs and *sigh* started camping.

There were a couple of events that stand out strongly in my minds eye, and that is what I will be talking about today. The whole first day Ziggy, our dog, wouldn't stop peeing. That is what I was referring to "marking territory" It was all good until he overdid himself. He forgets he is 10 and cant go all day like he used to. We were camped next to a "ravine" for lack of better word, and Ziggy wanted to explore and go up and down the trailer steps so much so that his TOENAILS RIPPED OFF!! So, here we have a lame dog, bleeding and hurting. Not to mention his arthritis was kicking in. Poor old dog had to be lifted in and out of the trailer every time he had to pee. He stayed inside for the rest of the trip.



The other thing that I am impressed about is something I am not to sure I should be remembering. Or documenting for that matter. Some poor young woman flashed me. I say me because in a truck full of men, siting in the middle of the frond seat, I was the only one to see the poor thing. It was indeed a poor thing.


Fast forward to later the next night, as I was unaware of the statistics of the race. Other than trucks and the like zooming past. Ian got a sort of earache and wailed all night long. Steve wanted to be up and out at six to get to church, so needless to say no one got any sleep. We had nothing to offer but infant ibuprofen and he begged for water all night. I was so reluctant to give him some as he might pee the bed, but looking back I think it wasn't that big of a deal that I gave him as much as he needed. Our poor fathers were sleeping in the trailer with us and since we were full it made it a tough night for everyone. Ian was better on the ride home and after we decided he was far to feverish for church, we got some hylands ear drops and some Motrin and headed home. He recovered so nicely, I am glad I followed my instincts and didn't take him to the Dr

He was very feverish before the ear drops.

This was the view from the camp sight. You can see a car in the distance. They were actually close.

.

This is our side of the camp, we were camping with one other family. They had their own trailer...

All of us slept in the trailer......

The morning we were leaving and after Ian screaming all night. It was so cold!!!

Parker here we come

I am getting totally excited about going to Parker, AZ on the 31st. There is an off road race, Parker 425 (or something) and we get to go!!
Last year I was excited for other reasons, my dear friend lived there, but since she moved its a reason to go camping! Camping, ha, more like living in a GREAT trailer for a couple days, or playing house in the desert. I am totally stoked!!!
I think I might even bring my sewing machine!

My baby's legs.

This all started when I ran out of disposable diapers.

We are to the point in our lives that we are broke. Not that we don't have things taken care of, and we are definitely not hungry. But right now, to buy diapers would be too much. I say this, to tell you that the babe has diapers, the cloth, and I thank the Lord for that. I am very satisfied that I have SOMETHING to put her in. It's really nice, she is extra cushy!

The biggest and lame drawback to cloth is putting clothes on the bottom half of her body. With a disposable, tights or leggings fit nicely and kept her warm. If I were to put the same over the cloth diaper, it would get wet also and sort of defeat the purpose of trying to keep her warm.

So I made some leg warmers!!!

I made them out of woman's knee high socks, cut the foot off;

And then, since I picked a sock that would fray, I stitched the end!

I don't have any action shots, but trust me, they work well and are SO CUTE!!!!I just need to make some more!!!

Sew your heart out!

I have this thing for sewing. I really like it. I love the fact that I can take some unassuming piece of fabric, and make something totally useful. I don't count myself to be creative, or artistic, but I can mostly follow directions. That being said I can make things that others have made and feel good about it. I made quite a few Christmas gifts, about as many as I bought, and I have a birthday gift for a friends daughter that I have yet to give. I seem to fall in love with everything I make, I squeeze and hold and call the stuff George. =)

Seriously though, I have some other projects lined up, and hopefully I will have the funding for some materials. I have two toys for my son in mind. One being a horse on a stick, the real name I am at a loss for. The second thing I want to make for him, I wanted to make for Christmas, is a bear cape. This is going to be a fun one. I think I will be able to make most of it from things I have here at the house. I have the "fur" already from some salvage from Jo Ann's. I think I am going to line it with some muslin, and make hand holes with some left over duck, or some upholstery scraps. Something tough because it will be a bear. As for the "face" I think I will use some old pants that are an army green for it's eyes and maybe some leftover blanket edging for some silky soft ears. I should post pictures of the progress.
I also have been asked to make a sling for my neighbor's friend. I should get on that soon, the baby was born around the holidays, I think a little early, and I would hope she could use a sling soon.
As for myself I am in the market for some new skirts. I will be using some old pants and at my husbands suggestion, which is a great one, dye the product after I finished to make it have a uniformed color. I would love to go to the thrift store soon to find some great pillow cases or sheets to make some peasant skirts, but for moneys sake, I have all kinds of old jeans and pants here and need to use those first.

Plus, I hope to take pictures of it all. If your lucky!!!

Can I call it something else?

As I said in a previous post, I have a need to make some resolutions. Here they are in no particular order.

1. No more shopping at Wal-Mart. Enough said.

2. Keep up on the laundry.

3. Call my parents more.

4. No yelling.

5. Read the bible more, daily.

I have five. One for each finger.